


I Carry Your Heart   (In My Heart)

by alseT



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F/M, I'd like to think Ravus is watched over by luna, Mentioned Character Death, POV Ravus, POV Second Person, as he is, look at the tag and just how pure this is, pretty gen and love everywhere, the summary is more desperate than the whole story, there's no other charater!, when it comes to Raves it all speaks devotion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 06:12:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16341305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alseT/pseuds/alseT
Summary: You think perhaps this, this is why you did what you did, you bore what no else would , gave whatever you had left. But still you could only delay, not stop what was inevitable. In the end it’s all for nothing.Luna is dead now. She’s dead and gone, leaving you forever alone.





	I Carry Your Heart   (In My Heart)

 

 

When you knew your mother was about to have a baby, you wished they wouldn’t look like you. Because you didn’t like how you look. Because people would sing the beauty of your parents and keep quiet or lower it to murmur when it came to you. But you noticed and was upset. You wished whether a brother or a sister they could be as beautiful as their parents, but not too beautiful. It’s not your jealousy speaking but because you worried too much. You know both of you were born to be expected to achieve great thing. And you feared beauty would require so much more sacrifice as in ever epic you heard bards sing. Your parents were tender to you, but they barely had time. So you were alone, and you hated it more than anything.

 

When she could barely walk, she’s an ultimate joy to you. No one had ever showered you as much affection as luna ever did. She would seek a kiss whenever you are around. And kissed you back ten times more, marking your face with her sweet and sour saliva. You were disgusted of course, but it’s so easy to ignore when you were so happy. But it’s hard to recall it now, when all you know is pain and pain and pain. You wonder if there was a time that you were happy, and then you decide that whenever she’s with you, you were happy.

 

You must have been, because that’s all you want now.

 

_( A secret game they played. She would ask who he loved most in the world and he would feigned to think and ask her back when she started to fidget. His smile would grow twice as wide when she said his name unthinkingly, and he would tickle her until she’s a breathless mess._

 

_“ You, always you, my precious.”)_

 

How everything changes in the end and how your feelings escape the commonness of such catalogue.

 

You remember the time when she grew up, but not quite. She was eight and you were twelve. She’s pretty with her golden locks and pale eyelashes where you differed in colour but not so much. You were way too pale for any one’s liking. But she called you her moonbeam. It’s weird and weak sounding. And you told her as much. But she just huffed and called you nonsense. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world. She said. You throat was tight, and your eyes soured but you didn’t want to worry her so you asked her if she had forgotten sylleblossoms. But it’s a mistake. Because she said you were way way beautiful than a mere flower and looked at you like you were some idiot. You sure smiled like one.

 

She was your sun. The one you could stare and stare and stare without getting burnt. You thought you could never live without her when you were a child. You still think as much in the dead silence of the night. When the darkness threatens to tear you apart, to drown you into nothingness. it’s almost unhealthy that you near worship her, seeing nothing a fault in her. Making her a perfect goddess in your head. But it’s not the truth. You sees every fault in her morality. You witnessed every mistake she’s ever made. But you love her the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

It runs in blood. She’s the blood of your blood. And as much as she claimed she was born to love you. You think your life truly began when she was born and for that you love her more than anyone could ever imagine.

 

Then she was the oracle. She accepted it better than you did. You don’t remember how you reacted to it. It must have been ugly. But thankfully she didn’t love you less for it when you begged her forgiveness. People thought you were jealous of her fate. Funny thing was, normal people could no longer anger you with their pettiness. But this was not a blessing. This was merely the beginning of your suffering. You didn’t have a clue what was awaiting you. If you had. If you had, if you could have envisioned any of this, would you just take her and leave? You wish, but she wouldn’t let you.

 

Even if you are oceans apart, she’s always with you. And you were never alone in the dark. Someone would tell you that’s what having a sister feels like, but none of them have a sister like luna. Therefore no one is qualified to tell you such thing. She’s more than your sister.

 

She would never fail to heal you whenever she came around these years. You never ceased to tell her to stop wasting away her life force on you when you were the one who should be protecting her. You didn’t tell her that you were more than willing to give your life when it comes to it. But you know she would hate it when you want her to love you, so you kept them in yourself. It’s a lie anyway. You don’t know what’s awaiting you when you die, but you suspected that it wouldn’t be rainbows and flowers. You’ve done too many and seen too many in the name of love. You disdain to seek forgiveness when you know there’s no one qualified to give other than her. You only have what you can have now. It’s foolish to put hope in something that requires you to die once to get it. And still she never even once forgot to erase your never ending pain, that hollowed every part of your body. You were good at lying, good at pretending nothing amiss when it’s hell outside. But she’s all the better at seeing through you.

 

You enjoy that her hand wouldlinger on your mechanical arm. It’s silly and impossible but you can feel the ghost of a warmth. It almost healed your own choking regret at attempting such foolish deed as seeking approval of old kings. They hold power that they should not. It’s never justice that balance the world. You should know better. But in the end of the day you are still a fool and you began to lose patience.

 

You want her happy. Is it really so impossible or selfish? You understand whatever she do, but you see where the path leads.

 

When you saw her, again after months, or was it years? That she was lying on the ground holding hands with that imbecile that cost her life. You were, if you could ever feel anything, relieved. It’s an awful feeling, but you were relieved. Because you were afraid you went to her too late, and she would leave you without a last glimpse, a chance at saying goodbye. A part of you thinks she’s waiting for you while the other part says that she’s just doing whatever she could to make sure Notics was alright.

 

She was waiting for you. And she graced you one last time, not with her porcelain skin and the soft hair that no longer had their own will under your fingers, but her smile.

 

She smiled for you one last time before dissolved into golden ashes and you think maybe it’s the world she’s trying to save. But no one in this world could ever save you now or ever.

 

The leftover of the light that once was her floating towards you, almost like wanting to embrace you, and you dared not to move or even breath for fear that it would be scared away. But it's luna.She's never afraid of you. you kneeled on the ground until the last bit of the light that lingered disappeared. It's foolish but you wished to trap it in your body.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

_She was ever the more beautiful, and it pained you more than you could ever imagine._

 

Sometimes when you look at the mirror you see her ghost in the brightness of the open window, when you tread your hand through your hair it’s her silken hair you are combing. It almost drives you insane when you looks into your own eyes and see her looking back at you.

 

But at the same time you think this is a bless that no one else could have.

 

That she would be with you until your very end, and in a world barren like this, it’s more than you could've ever asked for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> 'kay so perhaps I would write a few more for them since there's so little comfort I could find in words or the stories others created. also I've left too long I don't want my writing getting any rusty. 
> 
> and I was fascinated by the relationship between siblings, which is perhaps very wrong. but I'd like to have someone who witnessed everything with me, knows everything about each other more than any one In the earth.
> 
> I mean at some point they could go on loving others, but it would never be the same.
> 
> anyway have a good day, I'm just going to cry my eyes out for a while. <3


End file.
